Aussie Tax Office And Oldies -acknowledgement to anonymous author

Subject: FW: Australian Taxation Office - what a ripper.

Grandpa and the Australian Taxation Office The ATO decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him  to their office. The  auditor was not  surprised when Grandpa  showed up with his lawyer. The auditor said, 'Well, sir,  you have an extravagant  lifestyle and no full-time  employment, which you  explain by saying that  you win money gambling.  I'm not sure the ATO  finds that believable.' I'm a great gambler, and  I can prove it,' says  Grandpa. 'How about  a demonstration?' The auditor thinks for  a moment and said, ' Okay. Go ahead.' Grandpa says, 'I'll bet  you a thousand dollars  that I can bite my own  eye.' The auditor thinks a  moment and says, 'It's  a bet.' Grandpa removes his  glass eye and bites it.  The auditor's jaw drops. Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll  bet you two thousand  dollars that I can bite  my other eye.' Now the auditor can tell  Grandpa isn't blind, so  he takes the bet. Grandpa removes his  dentures and bites his  good eye. The stunned auditor now  realizes he has wagered  and lost three grand,  with Grandpa's lawyer as  a witness. He starts to  get nervous. 'Want to go double or  nothing?' Grandpa asks  'I'll bet you six thousand  dollars that I can stand  on one side of your desk, and pee into that  wastebasket on the  other side, and never  get a drop anywhere  in between.' The auditor, twice burned,  is cautious now, but he  looks carefully and  decides there's no way  this old guy could  possibly manage that  stunt, so he agrees  again. Grandpa stands beside  the desk and unzips his  pants, but although he  strains mightily, he  can't make the stream  reach the wastebasket  on the other side, so  he pretty much urinates all over the  auditor's desk. The auditor leaps with  joy, realizing that he  has just turned a major  loss into a huge win. But Grandpa's own lawyer  moans and puts his  head in his hands. 'Are you okay?' the  auditor asks. 'Not really,' says the  lawyer. 'This morning,  when Grandpa told me  he'd been summoned for  an audit, he bet me  twenty-five thousand  dollars that he could come  in here and piss all over  your desk and that you 'd be happy about it!' Don't Mess with Us Oldies!